Waiting

In theory, referrals should come next week. Since July 4 falls on a Sunday, most businesses consider July 5 as the holiday, so even, if they are mailed on Friday, they won’t get opened at CCAI until Tuesday. So with translations, it would be Wed. before we get the call again. Maybe since we had a rotten situation last time, they will translate ours right away and call us the same day. I have no idea though. Even though I’m anxious to know when referrals come, the excitement just isn’t there like last time. I feel like I’m holding back my emotions for at least a week or more after we get our referral. I’m still afraid our rematch will fall through again.

Lessons

Before we received our referral, it was a big deal to me that we could celebrate her 1st birthday at home. Maybe part of it was selfish, but I mainly wanted her to be able to have tangible memories of a major milestone like her 1st birthday. Although I still want to celebrate her 1st Bday at home, it's not nearly as big of a deal as it was a month ago. Obviously it would be easier to tell if there are any major issues in a child whose age is closer to 12 months than 6 months. I thought that I had given up everything regarding the adoption long ago, but I guess not. Maybe this is what God needed to do to help me understand that an older child would be perfectly fine for our family. Good thing He knows best. Guess I'm just work on leaning and learning what God wants for us even when I don't have a clue.

A Ray of Sunshine

Since our first referral is no longer available, we were given the option to ask for another referral. We decided that that is what we wanted to do. Although having a disrupted referral is not real common, it does happen. We know of a family who got to China, met their child and realized there was something very wrong with her. They had to ask for a new referral. Thankfully they were able to get the referral without having to go home and come back. We are so glad that that was not our situation.

On Friday, we received call from CCAI (our adoption agency). They said that they got a call from CCAA (Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs) confirming that we WILL be matched in the next group (which should be around July 5). I was hoping we would get some kind of confirmation. Unlike last month when we knew our date was “in” and we would get a referral, without this confirmation we wouldn’t know for sure that we were in next month. Now we don’t have to be concerned about that.

I have to be careful that I don't wish our summer away. While I am very anxious to get our new referral, I still have 2 girls at home who will be back in school before I know it. Then I'll wonder where the summer has gone. I figured out the other day that even in the best case scenario, the girls will be in school at least some of the time that we are in China. Kinda puts the time thing into perspective.

I171-H

We received our updated I171-H today with our new expiration date for our fingerprints. Pretty good response time from USCIS (2 1/2 weeks). Maybe there really is a soft spot in their hearts for adoption. Too bad we aren't using it when we thought we would.

Praise You in the Storm

I was sure by now,
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away,
Stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining.

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you."
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away.

I'll praise You in this storm.
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am.
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand.
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm.

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind.
You heard my cry.
You raised me up again.
My strength is almost gone.
How can I carry on
If I can't find You?

I lift my eyes unto the hills.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth.

I'll praise You in this storm.
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am.
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand.
You never left my side.
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm.

by Casting Crowns

Devastating News

We received devastating news today. The orphanage contacted CCAI and told them that they would be pulling Jiu Fen Fu’s file today due to some unexpected issues. This was obviously heart-wrenching and we are trying to determine what God has for us to learn in all of this.

In church yesterday, the pastor started a series on Habakkuk. This book is basically helps us deal with “Why does God let certain things happen? Like why 9/11, the holocaust, long adoption processes, delayed fingerprints. Well, now we can add to the list devastating adoption news. I told Brian we should read the book of Job.

I remember doing a Beth Moore Bible study years ago. I don’t even remember the name. Anyway, it had to do with God giving us grace and strength only when we need it. There was a family that had lost a child and people would say to them, “I don’t know how you do it. I could never handle losing a child.” The point was God doesn’t give us the strength we need to go through a situation until we are actually in the situation. I have a whole new appreciation for that now. God will not give us what we can’t handle and will give us the strength we need to get through it.

When you don't understand, when you can't see His plan, when you can't trace His hand, trust His heart."

The strength of the vessel can be demonstrated only by the hurricane and the power of the Gospel can be fully shown only when the Christian is subjected to some fiery trial. If God would make manifest the fact that “He giveth songs in the night” (Job 35:10), He must first make it night. William Taylor

Orphanage Care Package

We have an opportunity to send a care package to our daughter at her orphanage. Last evening, we started shopping. The biggest things we are including is a small photo album and a disposable camera. We also picked up some onezies, socks, sleeper, bibs, and a rattle. I think I'm going to get some pants too. I was looking for a waffle weave blanket like the ones I used with the girls, but I couldn't find them. Apparently blankets have changed since we had the girls. All I could find was fleece and flannel. All the flannel ones we saw came in 4 packs. I just don't think I can buy those because I could just go to JoAnn's, pick out exactly the flannel that I want and make it myself. But as Brian said, "Do you have time?"

Emotional Rollercoaster

I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster that doesn't level off in the middle for very long.  I spent some more time today trying to get contact info. for the USCIS.  I tried an email, but got an automated response that wasn't helpful.  I don't expect to hear from a real person.  I called the National Visa Center, but they haven't received our updated fingerprints.  Can't say I'm surprised.  It's only been 2 weeks.  I just want to do everything possible to ensure we travel when we are supposed to travel.  I think we are going to send another letter to USCIS telling them we actually have a referral and our earliest possible travel dates.  Other than that, I think I just need to forget about it until Monday when we can talk to our social worker (she was out of the office this week).

I am trying to remind myself that God knew that this would be an issue 5 yrs. ago when we started this process and He must have some reason for it.  I have to be careful that I don't concentrate on it for very long, otherwise I just feel exhausted. 

Fingerprints

After waiting almost 5 yrs. to get a referral, one would think that everything would be in place and ready to go by the time the referral actually comes.  Well, that isn't always the case.  Our immigration paperwork and fingerprints have expiration dates.  Our immigration papers are good until Oct. 2010, but our fingerprints expires 7/16/10.  This isn't good because we won't be home by then.  We knew this could be a issue, so we started the process to get them redone in April and actually had them taken on 5/28/10.  We have called the FBI and confirmed that they have been sent to the USCIS.  We also sent a letter to USCIS telling them where to send the info. and that we need it expedited since we will be travelling soon.  Now we need to have confirmation of the new expiration date.  In the past this has taken months.  It is not easy to contact an actual person at USCIS.  Please pray that the paperwork for our fingerprints will get to the places it needs to be faster than ASAP!  Thanks.

The Fed Ex envelope

We got the Fed Ex envelope from CCAI about 1pm today. We received 2 more pictures of Megan. They look pretty much the same as the initial picture except they are full body – chubby cheeks, lots of hair and no smile. Still very cute. We also received all the documents that are in Chinese and English. The most important document for the day was the “Letter of Seeking Confirmation from Adopter”. We had to sign the form saying that we accepted Megan and Fed Ex it overnight back to CCAI. Then the travel plans can get started.


The emotional high has started to extinguish and this afternoon I was exhausted. I didn’t want to take a nap, but by 4pm I couldn’t wait any longer. I felt much better after a ½ hr. nap.

Referral Day!

Today we finally got to see our daughter’s face! (See picture above) I got a call from Andrea Jones from CCAI at work a couple minutes before 11am. We had told them to call Brian’s cell phone 1st, but he didn’t answer, so they called me at work. I didn’t want to get the call alone, so I asked if we could call them back. I did however ask right away how old she was. Andrea said yes, so I tried to get ahold of Brian. He was nowhere to be found at work. I’m sure the office staff was frantically running around looking for him. It was kind of like deva ju with Mikayla’s birth. Finally I told them to just have him call me when they found him. As soon as I hung up the phone, he walked into my office at work. We quickly went to a private room and called Andrea.
Here’s what we learned about our daughter…

Her full name is Jiu (“nine”) Fen (“sweet smell or fragrance”) Fu (the city where she is located). Her birthday is November 19, 2009. She is only 6 months old! She is in an orphanage called Fuzhou City Social Welfare Institute (you can google this for more info.) in Jiangxi Province. At her last check-up, she weighed 12.76 lbs. and were 24.8” long. She wakes up about 0730 and take two 2 hr. naps at 10am and 1pm and bedtime is 8:30pm. She eats 7 times at day. Her diet includes milk and rice formula, rice cereal and steamed eggs. Favorite toy is a rattle. She loves to be held, can hold her head up when on her stomach, follows moving toys with her eyes, laughs out loud, knows her name, is active, likes music, and playing games. Her overall health and hearing is good.

We just love the referral picture.  Our kids didn't have that much hair until they were at least 3!  Auntie Mindy already gave us clips for her.
Tomorrow we will receive a Fed Ex package with a hard copy of all the info. we were given today. I think there are also more pictures. There will be an acceptance letter to sign and Fed Ex back right away. Our travel group is #1597. Andrea said we should travel in 5-7 weeks.

We called Grandma Marsha first because we knew her birthday was in November, but we couldn’t remember the date (it’s Nov. 9).  Next we called Auntie Mindy and then Grandma Tammy. My boss let me have a long lunch, so I went to show her picture to her sisters. They were excited, but I think they don’t feel like it’s real yet. I was also able to stop by Mike and Joan Rose’s and Susan Derry’s to tell them the good news.

What a day!  Like one of our friends who just got back from China with their daughter said, "When you see her face, it makes the wait all worth it!"

Tomorrow our lives will change forever!

The girls and I were travelling home from Grandma Tammy’s today after spending the week at Mindy’s. I was frequently checking in with Brian to see what all the websites/chat rooms were saying. About 1030, he said that CCAI changed their referral box to “referred through 4/26/06”. Our agency is very conservative about making announcements, so we knew this was a very good sign, but we wanted more proof. Finally at about 1pm, CCAI put in their child referral section that they did received matches for their 4/24 and 25 families today! Oh my goodness! That’s us! The referrals are in Chinese, so they will translate them today. We received an email stating that they will start making phone calls after 11am tomorrow (6/8/10). I called Mindy, Susan Derry, and Markay. Mindy and Susan asked me how I feel and I said “I don’t know”. Later, when Brian and I were discussing it, he described it as a roller coaster of emotions. Crying tears of joy one moment and overwhelmed the next. All I can think about right now is that our daughter’s picture and info. are in the USA and we will see it tomorrow! I work until 3pm Tuesday (6/8), so I emailed CCAI about that and the best way to get ahold of us. I will have to tell my office co-workers that after 11am, my productivity is going down the drain. Tomorrow our lives will change forever!

Rumors

Rumor Queen started reporting rumors earlier this week, but I didn't think anything of it because I'm not expecting referrals until June 15.  Well, yesterday she reported that the cut off of 4/26 is at a R4 (R5 is the highest).  We very likely could get a referral next week on 6/8!  Wow!  After all this waiting, it's just about to happen.  I'm excited, nervous, and scared all at the same time. 

Lincoln

The girls, my mom, and I hit the road yesterday to go to my sister Mindy's in Lincoln, NE.  We got there about 5pm.  Good thing, because there was some pretty nasty weather that went through behind us.  In the late afternoon today we went to the zoo.  The weather was beautiful.  Then we went to a rose garden.  I have never seen so many beautiful roses on the bush before.  Every color imaginable.  They even had lavender ones.  Wow!